• Is masturbation wrong?

Is masturbation wrong?

Masturbating in a relationship: selfish or normal?

Today, we’re going to talk about ethics. Not the deep stuff (although it could be deep depending on the size of your vibrator) – but rather, the niggly question of whether it’s okay to masturbate when you’re in a relationship. Obviously you love each other, and that emotional connection probably makes for some great sex, but sometimes you just want some alone-time to unwind, without having to worry about whether you’ve shaved your legs or not. Only for Pleasure explains why that’s totally fine.


Masturbating is just another form of self-sexpression

Solo playtime is great for your mind, body and general wellbeing, and it allows you to blow off steam without having to worry about anyone else’s mutual pleasure or potential judgement. Finish when you’re ready and get back to cooking dinner if you like – it’s completely up to you. The only catch is – what does your other half really think of your little sessions? And what do you think of theirs?


Where there’s honesty, there’s harmony.

A lack of honesty, on the other hand, can have the opposite effect.

‘On three separate occasions he tried it on, and everytime I turned him down,’ one woman told Mamamia in an article about masturbation habits in Australian couples. ‘So shockingly, he had a w*ank right in front of me. Once he was finished, I said, ‘better now?!’ and left it at that.’

This kind of experience can demonstrate underlying problems when it comes to sensitivity in the relationship, and send a message that one of you doesn’t care about the other’s feelings. Often, this just isn’t true, with passive-aggression stemming from stress, or the fact that he simply had a bad day and is taking it out on you.

Talk to your partner about why you do it. It’s not because you ‘have to’ – what you have together is a special bond and you’re not trying to replace it.

Self-pleasure is an ‘oh, but I want to’ kind of deal. It’s a bit of low-key relaxation for yourself, a ‘time-out’ to release endorphins when they’re away and you’re missing them. 

If your partner is aware of this, they’ll have no need to feel left-out or inadequate.

Depending on what stage of your relationship you’re at, you may need to ask them point-blank whether they even masturbate. If it’s a secret habit, they might feel ashamed of it, and discovering that you do it as well can come as a huge relief.


Turn on the discovery channel

Once you’ve established your partner’s habits, you might like to integrate your respective practices into foreplay. It’s an exciting way to learn something about them that you might not have known, and maybe even bring you closer together.

By sharing your secrets in a way that doesn’t undervalue your shared sex life, you can find a happy balance that satisfies both parties. And who knows – your partner might even surprise you with a G Vibe G Jack Royal Noir Vibrator from Only for Pleasure on your birthday! What could be more intimate?