• Why BDSM Isn’t As Scary As You Think

Why BDSM Isn’t As Scary As You Think

From the way it’s portrayed in popular culture, BDSM can seem a foreign and even scary thought for the sexually curious. At Only 4 Pleasure, our product range is designed to provide a new realm of possibility, so we’ve unpacked the truth about BDSM to explain why may just not be as scary as you thought. Prepare for your curiosity to be piqued!

 

Whether you’ve been asked by a partner to kink things up, or you’ve watched The Secretary and feel like trying something new, BDSM can be a scary thought – even if you’re the initiator. FYI, if you haven’t seen The Secretary, you must. It’s pretty much the intelligently raw, progressive predecessor of Fifty Shades. Anyway, here’s why getting all tied up isn’t so scary after all:

 

You’ll have a safe word

Before you start a haul of ball gags and studded collars, set some rules and establish a safe word for use between the dominatrix and submissive. This can be anything you like, but it will always mean ‘stop right now, I’m not comfortable with this’. It prevents any lines being crossed, and allows for a little more adventure and escape from your true self.

 

Part of the thrill of BDSM is often pretending that the submissive is not consenting – even though they are. Handing power to the dom makes things all the more exciting, and opens the door to role-play and deeper sexual desires being realised.

 

The roles remain in the bedroom (or playroom)

A popular myth is that doms and subs take on the same roles in their every day lives, prompting the notion that the physical aspect of BDSM translates in other emotional aspects of life. Those who take the dominatrix role are not necessarily power hungry, abusive people, and the same goes for submissives. Just because you’re playing the submissive role, it doesn’t mean that you’re open to be walked all over. That said, it’s important that you have complete trust in your partner. Always understand the line between intense sexual role-play and genuine abuse.

 

It doesn’t have to be painful

You might have a vision of BDSM being all about being whipped until you bleed – which is totally achievable with the Love Paddle, if that’s what you’re into. But not all kinky sex acts have to sting. It could simply just be the element of surprise while you’re blindfolded, or being touched erotically with a feather. You don’t have to jump right into the middle of a Rihanna video scenario.

 

You can still have a loving relationship

There’s different degrees of intensity with BDSM. Some people focus solely on their desires, and seek others interested in playing the dominatrix or submissive role with them. For others, it’s simply a sexual exploration with their significant other, for whom they still maintain respect and love. Trying something kinky doesn’t mean you’re surrendering your relationship – just opening up a new dimension of trust and pleasure! Trust us, it’s not always a Christian and Ana scenario.

 

Most of all, it’s important to lay down rules before commencing a BDSM relationship – even though you do have full trust in your partner. Be open about what’s okay and what’s not, and then simply let go and have fun. You might surprise yourself!

 

Only 4 Pleasure is for both the sexually adventurous and the first-timers alike, allowing you to discover your sexual capacity in the safety of your own home. Ready to give BDSM a try? Browse our fetish and restraints